the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Alive.
So much puke
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
