So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
