If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You can't just leave with hair like that
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
