I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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