you should give me head with plastic fangs in
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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