i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
