just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
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