I accidentally had phone sex last night
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
