well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize