Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
