Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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