I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
