You smell like stripper and shame
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
