Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
