i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
