Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
