those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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