He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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