I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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