We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
