About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
