The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
