she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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