is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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