did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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