im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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