he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize