chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
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