you would pick up someone in the library
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
