I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
