Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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