every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize