so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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