there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize