Sponge bath it is.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
