I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
