Quick, to the slutcave!
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
