I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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