your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
farters have to be the big spoon...
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
