My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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