I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
