i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
