So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize