I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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