Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
