I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
