I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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