It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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