Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
