On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
