You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
