He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
