I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
