You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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