The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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