Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Randomize
