This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Someone signed my nipple.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
