"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
