I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
